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Credit Journal [Saturday May 11, 2030]
[ mood | bouncy ]

Made this yesterday and forgot to mention it. All my credit is now in wildlyacclaimed please join to see the entries. If there are any mistakes or exclusions please let me know asap. Thanks!

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Friends Only [Saturday Apr 21, 2012]
[ mood | loved ]

Comment to be added, comment at your own peril.

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Just saving this for Adam's comment [Thursday Jul 20, 2006]

This is the comment Adam left in this entry, just in case he wants to get rid of it. Everyone who he says should 'be careful of me' you may want to rethink who you should be careful of.
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[Friday Jul 7, 2006]
I guess keeping promises doesn't matter anymore. Oh well.
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[Friday Jul 7, 2006]
[ mood | blank ]

I don't know what's wrong with me... so many things are going through my head.. I don't understand.. I don't know what's happening, I don't know what is going on with me and I can't stand it. I don't know anything anymore.. everything is cloudy and all I want to do is swallow a bottle of pills and sleep until December. I don't know what's going on with anything... nothing makes any sense anymore. I can't even make coherent thoughts.. I don't.. I can't.. grrr. I just.. I can't think! My mind feels like it's shutting down, and the rest of me already has. I'm not who I was.. I don't know who I am. Last night was bascially it. Everything in me just gave up. Whoever I used to be is gone.. I killed her. She was dying for a long time, I was holding on to her, but I let go last night. She wasn't worth the fight.. she didn't deserve to live.. so she's dead. I'm dead... well, I'm not.. but who I was is. I'm just an empty shell with a very dead person inside. There's nothing left and that's all I can think about. My mind has truely and honestly withered up. There are hardly any memories... no emotions, no wants or needs or anything, I feel like a robot. I'm not cold, I'm not warm, I'm not happy or sad or angry or hurt, I'm not looking forward to anything or dreading anything, I'm just empty. I don't know if I'll ever really be a human again.. something's very wrong with me. But I am really just empathetic. It doesn't matter. Breathing doesn't matter. I don't matter and neither does the person inside me who's died.

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[Sunday Jun 25, 2006]
Don't need no copy of vogue magazine
Don't need to dress like no
Beauty Queen
High heels or sneakers, he don't
give a damn
My baby loves me just the way that I am
My baby loves me just the way that I am
He never tells me I'm not good enough
Just give me unconditional love
He loves me tender and he loves me mad
He loves me silly and he loves me sad

He thinks I'm pretty, he thinks I'm smart
likes my nerve and he loves my heart
He's always sayin' he's my biggest fan
My baby loves me just the way that I am
My baby loves me just the way that I am

When there's dark clouds in my eyes
He just sits back and lets 'em roll on by
I come in like a lion gone like a lamb
My baby loves me just the way that I am
My baby loves me just the way that I am

Repeat Chorus

He thinks I'm pretty, he thinks I'm smart
likes my nerve and he loves my heart
Don't see no reason to change my plan
My baby loves me just the way that I am
My baby loves me just the way that I am

I am one hell of a lucky girl. My guy is just so amazing and so wonderful. I have a guy that loves me so much and I get him all to myself for ever and ever. Not many women get the chance to live out their life with the man they were meant to be with who adores them and who they love more than anything in the world. My Adam makes me so incredibly happy that I can't even begin to describe how much... I just love him... I don't know how a girl like me ended up with a guy like my baby, but I sure am glad that I did. I love you sweetheart, you're everything in the whole world to me.
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[Tuesday May 9, 2006]
[ mood | cheerful ]

Okay.. so time for a fun joke... not really but I heard it on the radio and it made me laugh.

A 87-year-old widow decides that it is time for her to remarry, so she puts an ad in the newspaper saying: "Looking for a husband, must be in his 70's won't beat me, won't run around on me and must still be good in bed"

A couple weeks after she posts the advertisement the woman hears her door bell ring. When she opens the door she sees a grey-haired man in a wheel chair who has no arms and no legs. She laughs at the man, "You really don't think I'll consider you for a husband do you? Just look at you!"
"Well," replies the man, "I don't have any legs so I can't run around on you, I don't have any arms so I can't beat you,"
"But are you good in bed?" the woman interrupts.
"I rang the door bell didn't I?"

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[Sunday Mar 19, 2006]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

1 commented ~ comment ~ Edit

Somethin my baby made me... I love you Adam [Tuesday Mar 14, 2006]
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Shocking new study reveals the true workings of the lightbulb [Monday Mar 13, 2006]
A Light in the Dark (Part I)

The following article is reprinted from the Journal of Sucker Theory (Bell Laboratories).

For years it has been believed that electric bulbs emitted light.

However recent information from Bell Labs has proven otherwise.

Electric bulbs don't emit light, they suck dark. Thus, they now call these bulbs dark-suckers. The dark theory, according to a Bell Labs spokesman, proves the existence of dark, that dark has mass heavier than that of light, and that dark is faster than light. The basis of the dark-sucker theory is that electric bulbs suck dark.

Take for example the dark-suckers in the room where you are.

There is less dark right next to them than there is elsewhere. The larger the dark sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark.

Dark-suckers in a parking lot have a much greater capacity to suck dark than the ones in this room.

As with all things, dark suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the black spot on a full dark sucker. A new candle has a white wick. You will notice after the first use the wick turns black, representing all the dark which has been sucked into it. If you hold a pencil next to the wick of an operating candle, the tip will turn black because it got in the way of the dark flowing into the candle. Unfortunately, these primitive dark suckers have a very limited range.

There are also portable dark suckers. The bulbs in these can't handle all the dark by themselves, and must be aided by a dark storage unit. When the dark storage unit is full, it must either be emptied or replaced before the portable dark sucker can be operated again. Dark has mass. When dark goes into a dark sucker, friction from this mass generates heat. Thus, it is not wise to touch an operating dark sucker. Candles present a special problem, as the dark must travel in the solid wick instead of through glass. Thus, it can be very dangerous to touch an operating candle. Dark is also heavier than light. If you swim deeper and deeper, you notice it gets darker and darker. When you reach a depth of approximately fifty feet, you are in total darkness. This is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the lake and the lighter light floats to the top. The immense power of the dark can be utilized to man's advantage. We can collect the dark that has settled to the bottom of the lakes and push it through turbines which generate electricity and help push dark to the ocean, where it maybe safely stored.

In conclusion, Bell Labs stated that dark suckers make all our live much easier. So, the next time you look at an electric bulb, remember that it is indeed a dark sucker!

A Light in the Dark (Part II)

Volume I, p. 2. Bell Laboratories Newsletter, (4/88)

In Part I of this series, the general scope and evidence of the dark sucker theory was discussed. The three basic tenets of the dark sucker theory are that

(1) Lamps do not emit light, they suck dark;
(2) Dark has mass heavier than light; and
(3) dark is faster than light.

Among the corollaries not discussed in that paper are the following facts: Dark is colder than light, dark has almost infinite mass, and dark is extremely corrosive.

Dark is colder than light. While it has been generally theorized that refrigeration operates on the principle of expanding and contracting gases, in actuality refrigerators simply suck tiny amounts of dark from the surrounding atmosphere and inject it into the inside of the refrigeration compartment. This process is halted whenever the door is opened and all the dark is immediately sucked out of the refrigerator. For this reason it is wasteful of energy to open the door of a refrigerator too often. Dark has almost infinite mass. Although dark suckers have been in operation for nearly a century now, there remains as much dark as there was when their operation first started. When a dark sucker ceases to operate, the room fills up immediately with dark again. Stroboscopic photography has proven that the process of dark refilling a room occurs much faster than the process of dark being sucked out of a room. (This is why it is believed that dark travels faster than light). The corrosive nature of dark has been known for some time, but it has only recently received scientific study. Research indicates that although dark has one the highest corrosive pensions known to man, it must chemically react with the element being corroded in order to produce its effect. By far the best catalyst for this process is fire. When a wooden log is mixed with fire, it begins to suck dark. Friction from this process generates heat which makes it very dangerous to touch the fire. In fact if one gets to close to an object which is sucking dark, he himself can become a sucker. Many have speculated that it is the fire itself which produces heat, but that can be easily refuted by observing an operating soldering iron. Although it produces heat, it does not have fire anywhere near it. Therefore, fire does not produce heat. As the wooden log begins to chemically react with the dark it is sucking, it soon begins to have the same color as dark. In addition to this, the dark will begin to actively corrode the log. When the log is full of dark, it will be completely black with dark and will be heavily corroded. The fire, lacking the ability to infuse more dark into the log, will give up. One will observe, however, that the remains of the log/dark reaction will continue to emit heat for quite a while after the fire has gone.
Yet more proof that fire does not generate heat. It is hoped that this information will prove valuable to mankind as he attempts to harness the potential stored in dark.

A Light in the Dark (Part III)

Volume I, p. 3. Bell Laboratories Newsletter, (4/88)

Having thoroughly analyzed the general theory and evidence of dark-sucking, Bell Labs instructed me and my staff to delve into some particular applications of the sucker principle. It was discovered by several of my assistants that among the many technological advancements in general suction apparatus, by far the most interesting was the dark-sucking diode (DSD). Formerly referred to as the Light Emitting Diode, this device manages to suck dark in a manner unique to itself. It has long been thought that incandescent and fluorescent bulbs emit light by two very different principles, it is now realized that they are actually very similar in their approach, and that rather than emit anything, they simply suck dark.

Described technically, these devices excite matter through electrical stimuli until their molecules are in an extreme degree of excitation. When this occurs, there is much greater distance between the molecules of the matter in question than there was before.This creates a vacuum between the molecules which must be filled with something if there is less vacuum in the surrounding area. Since 99% of all vacuum in the universe is filled with dark, it is no surprise to discover that dark rushes in to fill the vacuum created in this manner. The amount of distance between molecules that can be created in this manner is staggeringly large resulting in an extremely efficient device capable of sucking all the dark from an area thousands of times the size of the actual matter doing the dark sucking.

The fact that in one type of bulb tungsten is used for matter to excite, and that in other bulbs various gases are used is of no consequence. All of these types of dark suckers suck dark by the same principle of expanding distance between molecules and creating dark vacuums which suck dark from the surrounding atmosphere, and all of them will eventually fail because they are full of dark and unable to operate any longer. Please refer to part IV for details on the operation of the DSD. This will follow in a later message.

A Light in the Dark (Part IV)

Volume I, p. 4. Bell Laboratories Newsletter, (4/88)

Please refer to part III on incandescent and fluorescent dark suckers for related information. The dark-sucking diode sucks dark in a different manner altogether from either incandescent or fluorescent bulbs. A single dark sucking diode has almost infinite lifetime based on normal operations. Indeed, this very fact was one reason why the dark-sucker theory was never really accepted among many of the more conservative schools until recently. How could a dark sucker work forever when it was most certain to fill up with dark and cease to operate? In addition to this, the fact that the DSD was physically smaller than other dark-suckers yet operated longer was a source of great trepidation to most proponents of the sucker theory. Two of my top assistants, however, discovered the solution to this problem. An operating DSD creates and maintains a unique field referred to by my staff as the Schildt Vortex (after Margaret Schildt, who discovered the field) which has the following characteristics: An area of vacuum in the center referred to as the "pit" sucks a large amount of dark for such a tiny area, and an aril-like shell around this area conducts electrical current only in one direction. The aril produces some interesting side effects, some of which we are only beginning to understand. Among these effects are tiny electronic capillaries which reach into the heart of the pit and draw off the dark being sucked in. For this reason, the pit never fills up with dark and the duty cycle of the device is practically infinite. The dark is channeled into the circuitry surrounding the DSD and eventually works its way into the power source for the apparatus. The corrosive factor is avoided (see part II) because of the way that the unique capillary action of the Schildt vortex fuses the electricity and the dark on the sub-atomic level. My staff are [sic] currently busy studying this phenomenon and attempting to locate any effects caused by this strange side effect.

A Light in the Dark (Part V)

Volume I, p. 5. Bell Laboratories Newsletter, (4/88)

Here at Bell Labs, our researchers have been busy day and night studying effects which have only recently become known to us since the discovery of the "Dark-Sucker" theory, that lamps do not emit light, they suck dark.

Much study has been recently devoted to the study of the special problems presented by the DSD (dark sucking diode). Study of this relatively new destination of dark has revealed some rather unsettling news. It appears that during normal operations the DSD sustains an unusual phenomenon known as the Schildt vortex which is an electronic substitute for mass. This area is capable of sucking dark with greater efficiency than a tungsten filament and produces very little heat in the process.

The ultimate question which has plagued our staff for months has been, "Where does the dark go?" Also, they have been concerned with such questions as, "Why does a DSD produce virtually no heat?", "How can dark be bonded with electrons on the sub-atomic level? When does this bond break down?" , and "Is there really anything that can be done about hair loss?" Preliminary studies show that the dark is indeed fused on a sub-atomic level with traveling electrons during normal unidirectional current flow through the aril capillaries (see part IV) of the DSD. Unfortunately, it has become evident that this bonding, although useful for removing dark from a given area, does not last long.

Because of the extreme speed at which electrons whirl around their nuclei, coupled with the fact that dark does indeed have mass, the dark is eventually slung off into the surrounding area where it becomes trapped in the intra atomic void. This process occurs randomly over a given area anywhere between 3 feet and 30 feet from the operating DSD. This means that the wiring inside most domestic and corporate buildings are slowly accumulating dark. Concentrations of dark well above established safety levels for general living quarters has been discovered in nearly every demographic area surveyed. Statistically, the most lethal concentrations have been observed in houses with teenage children who listen to loud rock music. It is believed that this is because of the fact that many stereos utilize DSD panels for bar type metered output. In an effort to alleviate this problem, Bell Labs offers this special service: Anyone who sends a one-foot sample of their household wire, along with a modest processing fee of $69.99, will receive in the mail our diagnosis of the saturation level of their wiring and warn of any possible danger. Payment should be made directly to me, (George McConnel). All replies will be kept strictly confidential, and results will be returned in plain paper. Yes and a star is a light sucker and a Black hole is a darkness generator. Actually when you turn on your flashlight it sucks in darkness and stores in the batteries. When the batteries are full of darkness they no longer work.

Hope some of y'all enjoyed that... or part of it at least
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[Saturday Apr 9, 2005]
[ mood | cold ]

I've pretty much been taking quizzes all day (after driving to wal-mart and back :P) but this is the only one I wanna put here... I dunno why.. it's just true :P

You Are A Romantic Realist

You are more romantic than 50% of the population.

You tend to be grounded when it comes to romance.
Sure, you can fall hard... but only for someone you've gotten to know.
And once you're in love, you can be a total romantic goofball...
But you'd never admit it to your friends!

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[Sunday Apr 3, 2005]
[ mood | shitty ]

Okay... just for everyone, I am SO SICK of everyone trying so hard to make me feel like shit. I'M SICK OF IT. Just stop. Everyone just stop. Don't bring my name into anything, don't mention me, just please... just whatever the horrible thing is that I've done to you just please if you can find it in your hearts just stop talking about it. If I could stop crying I'd go into detail, but I can't. And don't think my crying has to do with what anyone online said, I wouldn't give y'all the satisfaction, but I'm tired of everyone in my life friends, people I thought were friends, people who used to be friends, family, I tired of everyone trying so hard to make me feel awful. Okay? If I hurt anyone I'm sorry, not for what I did but because it hurt you. I've finally come to the point in my life that I realized I needed to do something for me because if I kept waiting it might end up being too late, I'm sorry that saving myself meant hurting others, but I won't apologize for doing something in my best intrest. I'm sure it could've been handled better, but I'm an idiot so I end up hurting people. But in my own defense, I did warn everyone a long long time ago that getting close to me would mean getting hurt. No one believed me... I guess now they do. I'm not a horrible person like some of you may now think, but I'm really not a very good friend, and I know that, I tried to convince others but I guess I had to show them. I really hate hurting people, but I did, so I guess I deserve all of this, I guess it's just karma, I know that me saying this won't have an affect on anyone, no one cares enough anymore, hardly anyone did to begin with, and now I've lost the few that did. I'm not complaining, I did do this myself, it was my choice, I just thought I knew the majority of you better. I didn't think you'd sink so low as to go to people and start throwing my name around, but I deserve that. I just want it to stop. I've stopped caring, I've moved on, now I wish everyone else would too... I just want to go on with my life and if you could just let me do that in peace it might end up lasting longer.

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[Saturday Apr 2, 2005]
[ mood | confused ]

As some of you may have noticed I deleted all of my accounts on Neopets. I have my reasons, then again I'm starting to doubt them. I don't know what to do anymore and I know no one's gonna read this because well... no one ever reads this... oh well.. *sigh* I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore.. I give up.

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[Monday Mar 28, 2005]
I'm closing out my LJ.... I just think it's for the best... and I have a feeling I may be quitting neo as well... I can't say my reasons yet, but I'm just gonna have to see.... Hopefully I won't have to, hopefully things will be alright, but I know for sure no matter what I'm closing the LJ... I'm sick of it.. it was a bad idea in the first place and I don't want the reminders of some things of my past.
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Just taking some quizzes for no particular reason.. [Monday Mar 28, 2005]
[ mood | bored ]

You dont want love to come through to you. You like
it the way you are. To be unreachable, no need
to show feelings. Hiding everything inside you.
You are already used to it. You say yourself
that you dont need anyone, that you stand on
your own two feet or that you dont have time
for these things. But in reality you are scared
to get hurt. You feel save where you are: by
yourself, nobody can hurt you there. You
invent your own relationship in your dreams.
You just need to know that you COULD get a

~THE big LOVE TEST!! What do you need? With PICS! For girls and boys!~
brought to you by Quizilla

You are beautiful because of the pure, sensitive,
good hearted, unexperienced vibe you give out.
You most likely haven't done much such as sex,
drugs , and alcohol. If you have you were
probably just experimenting out of pure
curiousity. Your curiousness may lead to danger
if you cannot control it! People like to be
around you because of your young personality.
You like to have fun and be happy. You are well
liked by most people but some may find you
slightly immature. Don't let people bring you
down, for you are a wonderful and beautiful

You're Beautiful...but why? ( PICS)
brought to you by Quizilla
Umm... not so much true :-\


??Which colour of Death is yours??
brought to you by Quizilla

Info Grey
Your Heart is Grey

What Color is Your Heart?
brought to you by Quizilla
I like that one..

You are the Spirit of Hope. Whenever someone is
feeling down, they merely have to think of you
to make them happy again. You have the ability
to simply radiate happiness. You can make
friends quickly because your strong point is
your amazingly friendly nature which naturally
people want to be with. You think about the
best in everything, a total optimist, you won't
have any trouble getting a worthy person to
shae your life with!

Which stunning spirit of emotion are you? NEW AND IMPROVED! (amazingly beautiful anime pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla
Eh... not quite right..

You hate not to love but you hate to fall in love.
You can't help but sigh when you see to people
kiss in the park and all. You don't like to go
over board and believe in a small steady
relationship at first so that it can grow. You
also like to think that you can have that kiss
that puts you into a portal and you can't get
back until he/she stops.

How much do you love? GOOD PICS
brought to you by Quizilla
I really really like that line "You hate not to love but you hate to fall in love." That's so me..

Your inner soul is calling for help! You always
seem so depressed, lonely, and feel like an
outsider. You may have a cold, sad exterior,
but in all reality you are hurt inside and
bottling up all of your anger. Everyday you
wonder why are you still here when there is
nothing left? You use to once be a happy,
loving soul, but it was damaged by 'them' and
seems like it never can be fixed again.
However, you have yet seemed to realize that
there are people out there that deeply care for
you. They secretly have a thing for you because
they find you to be dark, mysterious, and full
of secrets, not to mention being the prettiest
person in the world! You like to enjoy your
time by yourself expressing your feelings
through forms of art, and enjoy nice quiet
scenaries that just dazzle your mind with awe.
Your bedroom is basically your sanctuary where
you can hide out, hidden from those who gave
you all of the pain. Try to loosen up and have
some fun! Never start frowning because you
never know who's falling in love with your
smile :)

What Is Your Inner Soul Trying To Say?
brought to you by Quizilla
I guess that one's okay.... :-\

I'll probably take some more but I don't wanna overwhelm people with quiz results :P I'm just bored... :P

1 commented ~ comment ~ Edit

Yeah... so shoot me it's Simple Plan... [Sunday Mar 27, 2005]
[ mood | indescribable ]

Another day is going by
I'm thinking about you all the time

But you're out there
And I'm here waiting

And I wrote this letter in my head
'Cuz so many things were left unsaid
but now you're gone
And I can't think straight

This could be the one last chance
To make you understand

I'd do anything
Just to hold you in my arms
To try to make you laugh
Somehow I can't put you in the past
I'd do anything
Just to fall asleep with you
Will you remember me?
'Cuz I know I won't forget you

Together we broke all the rules
Dreaming of droping out of school
And leave this place
to never come back

So now maybe after all these years
If you miss me have no fear
I'll be here
I'll be waiting

This could be the one last chance to make you understand
And I just can't let you leave me once again
I close my eyes
And all I see is you
I close my eyes
I try to sleep I can't forget you
nanana (...)
And I'd do anything for you

I'd do anything
To fall asleep with you
I'd do anything
There's nothing I won't do
I'd do anything
To fall asleep with you
I'd do anything
'Cuz I know I won't forget you

I think I'm starting to admit it to myself whether I like it or not... and I suppose I just need more time to think... yes, thinking is bad for me I know, but I doubt it's avoidable this time 'round. I'm sure most of you probably have no clue what in the world I'm talking about but that's very good :P Anyway.. like I said, I'm slowly starting to admit it whether I want to or not.. and I'm sure you'll be very happy to hear it Cathy :P

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[Saturday Mar 26, 2005]
[ mood | curious ]

Just a random update on Jess... I don't think I can manage to be a vegetarian anymore. I wasn't doing it for any special cause or anything so it's not breaking my morals or anything like that. I'm still proud of myself, it's the first thing I stuck to as long as I did, over a year (maybe almost two). But I've been really sick lately (no worrying!!!!) and I have a guess as to what it is.. and if it is I might actually go to a doctor to get pills for it cause there's no way in hell I'm just "living with it"... I don't know for sure but I'm going to have to do some experimentation, I think I'm lactose intolerant. I know you can develop it over time and I know there's medication to control it that's about as much as I know. But if I don't feel better after I cut out the dairy then I'll probably just forget about it... if I do feel better I'll go to a doctor (I have weird logic... go to the doctor when you feel better? :P) So anyway.. that's my random update ^^ I haven't glanced at anything at all online yet.. I just got up and got dressed and I'll probably be going soon.. we're getting the headliner put in my car today :D

6 commented ~ comment ~ Edit

[Friday Mar 25, 2005]
[ mood | amused ]

Ack.. I keep going back to this same test...

My results January 2nd...

Paranoid:Very High
Schizoid:Very High
Schizotypal:Very High
Borderline:Very High
Dependent:Very High

-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

My results today... and this is me in a really really good awesome mood :P

Paranoid:Very High
Schizoid:Very High
Schizotypal:Very High
Borderline:Very High
Histrionic:Very High
Narcissistic:Very High
Avoidant:Very High
Dependent:Very High

-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

I don't think it can really get much worse than that :P
2 commented ~ comment ~ Edit

[Friday Mar 25, 2005]
[ mood | pissed off ]

Ugh... don't expect to see me around at all for the rest of the day... why you may ask?

I HATE MY MOTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm going to lay down and paint and if someone needs me and they don't have any of my phone numbers then I guess you should just e-mail me and hope I check it.. If you have my phone number feel free to call me... But other than that I need to find something to not think about my mother..

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[Thursday Mar 24, 2005]
[ mood | blah ]

I'm gonna try to be around as much as possible all things considered... Luckily I do have something to keep me busy.. I think I'm just gonna pour myself into my little project at least until Tuesday when school starts again..then I'll have the show to work on.. other than that.. I think the circumstances explain themselves.. and currently I have the worst headache I think I've ever had... so.. I'm just gonna keep working on this thing hopefully make some progress in it :)

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